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 Item One

Elaine: So is it a problem that I’m not religious? Puddy: Not for me. Elaine: Why not? Puddy: I’m not the one going to hell. Jerry: No, I don't eat dinner. Dinner's for suckers.

George: If Relationship George walks through this door, he will kill Independent George. A George divided against itself cannot stand. Kramer: Well, people kept ringing the bell! George: I think it moved. Jerry: Why would anybody want a friend. Kramer: These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Kramer: Boxers! How do youwear these things? Look at that–they’re bagging up, they’re rising in, and there’s nothing holding me in place. Jerry: Why do I always have the feeling everybody's doing something better than me on Saturday afternoons? Newman: Jerry, I’m a little offended. Jerry: You’re not a little anything, Newman. Jerry: Men want the same thing from their nderwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. Elaine: So is it a problem that I’m not religious? Puddy: Not for me. Elaine: Why not? Puddy: I’m not the one going to hell.

 Item Two

Jerry: But the thing you don't realize is that there's good naked and bad naked. Naked hair brushing, good; naked crouching, bad. George: My whole life has been a complete waste of time. Jerry: And there's so much more to go.

 Item Three

Kruger: Kruger Industrial Smoothing is heading into the red. Or the black, or whatever the bad one is. Jerry: If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Jerry: You were in the Army? Kramer: Briefly? Elaine: A woman just walking around in broad daylight with nothing but a bra on? She's a menace to society.

Mr. Ross: It's a terrible tragedy when parents outlive their children. George: Yes, I agree. I hope my parents go long before I do. Jerry: There's too much urinary freedom in this society. I'm proud to hold it in. It builds character. Kramer: You don't eat Oreos? The way you break 'em open and.... It's like you're having sex with 'em. Jerry: Ah well, if it isn't Shakey the Mohel. Jerry: We're pathetic, you know that? George: Yeah, like I don't know that I'm pathetic.

Elaine: It’s a salad, only bigger, with lots of stuff in it. Jerry: The New York Yankees? George: The New York Yankees! Jerry: Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Mantle… Costanza?! Jerry: And you want to be my latex salesman. Jerry: Women don’t respect salad eaters. Bob: Who? Who does not want to wear the ribbon.

 Item Four

George: I'm much more comfortable criticizing people behind their backs. Kramer: Yamahama, it's fright night. Frank Costanza: Starting tonight we're having a little sales contest. The loser gets fired. The winner gets a Water Pik.

 Item Five

Elaine: You'd really like him. Jerry: Why do people always say that? I hate everyone, why would I like him! George: If Relationship George walks through this door, he will kill Independent George. A George, divided against itself, cannot stand. Elaine: Maybe I’ll go visit my mother. She just bought me some new panties and they’re all laid out for me. George: I think she finds my stupidity charming. ; George: Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia? Puddy: I painted my face Elaine: You painted your face? Puddy: Yeah.' Elaine: Why? Puddy: Well, you know, support the team?